Being born without 1/2 my leg there were plenty of opportunities for my parents to help me build resilience.
Today I have my own approach to building resilience and it’s not difficult for anyone to adopt. Small daily acts is all it takes.
When you google search resilience there is a staggering 139,000,000 references available in 0.62 seconds, that tells me two things. People are looking and there is plenty of information available. So why are we so lacking when it comes to resilience and how can we be more resilient?
The dictionary definition of resilience, is the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
Given there is so much information that is not being adopted let me give you my version.
Every time you fall over get back up and have another crack. Don’t sit and sook, just do what it takes to get back up and have another go.
The reason I am so direct is because that is exactly what resilience is, it’s the skills to cope when the shit hits the fan. It is not warm and fuzzy, its not required when you are going great or things are all falling into line. It is the skills and experience you draw on when you need them most, when you fall down.
Falling down looks different for all of us, for some it is failing to tie up our shoe laces, think of kids that get frustrated time and time again, it may be parents failing to get through to your kids. For others it is not being able to say no to drugs and substance abuse, it may even be that other people have put you down and rattled your self worth. The point is we all have our own version of failing.
The interesting thing about the need for resilience is you may call on it once a day or once a week, maybe once a year, or 20 times a day, it doesn’t matter how many times you need it, when you become resilient you can call on it anytime you need it.
There is no greater time to need resilience than when someone’s contemplating suicide. Given our suicide rate is at such an alarming rate I believe it is important to help each other become more resilient now to avoid people thinking that suicide is their only option.
We can do this by not shying away from the fact that life can be tough. Deal with it. Reach out and seek help. That simple act of asking for help is the third step to becoming resilient.
4 Tips to improving your resilience
The very first step is to identify that you are where you don’t want to be.
The next step is committing to do something about it. No matter what, you must commit to not staying in down.
As mentioned the third step is seeking help.
Fourth and this may sound a little weird but the fourth step is to celebrate. Smile because life is going to get better. In time it is important to look back and reflect on where you were and what you’ve overcome.
That is what fuels our confidence and belief that we can do it again and again. We can overcome setbacks. Believe me, the more we build our resilience the better we get at using it.
Small daily acts is all it takes.
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Don Elgin is a motivational speaker helping corporates and school children improve their resilience
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